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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Bed Day and Poetry

Well I am definitely paying for the date on Sunday. The pain Sunday night was horrible and centered in my lower back (where the degenerated disk and herniated disk are), so that everytime I moved sharp pain shot through my whole lower back, pelvis, and up into the middle of my back. Not fun. This kept me up all night Sunday.

I managed to get 4 hours of sleep during the day Monday and when I woke up I felt okay. I could move without the shooting pains so I came into the living room to read email and blogs. Then I ate dinner at the dinner table. Apparently these were not good things to do because around 6PM last night my pain started going up and those shooting pains came back. I was up all night again because I just couldn't stay comfortable in any position long enough to actually sleep.

So today is a bed day, no chores or anything, in the hopes that a day of complete rest for my back will stop the symptoms I am having.

Despite all this pain, muscle spasms, and decreased mobility, I still think going out to dinner and raiding the book store was worth it.

While being awake last night I got the itch to write and these "poems" are what came out.

Reality...more terrifying than fiction
pain..consumes you
  swallows you whole
fills your days and nights
so even in a crowd
   always alone

no one truly understands
   suffering brings isolation
   alone, in the dark
no company
save pain

gnawing at the softest parts
   eating your heart and soul
   killing compassion
   destroying strength

   to suffer in the dark


   not fiction
cold hard truth
  icy empty cell
   trapped in a body betrayed

In pain.

(needs quite a bit of work I think, but it made me feel better to write it)

And one more. (you can skip it if you want LOL)

Once Upon A Time...
   hopeful introduction
   stories thru all time

Cinderella, Snow White, Peter Pan et. al
   fantasy for fun
   dreams spun from a few words

Innocence looks to the future
   expecting happily ever after
   every emotion felt by man

Reality steps in
   fractures the fantasy
   destroys happily ever after

Life...a constant struggle
  to thrive
Hidden traps...ensnare

Happily Ever After
Reality of pain
   fills the void.

(not sure I like either one, but they helped me feel a little better and stop the pity party for one I was having at 4AM this morning)

OK off to bed for the day. Oh fun! (NOT!)


  1. WOW! I LOVE the first part especially! You hit the nail on the head in the expression through poetic writing; of the reality called Chronic Pain. Or maybe just those of us in this special 'club', (that someone else must have signed me up for), really spot and understand the true meaning behind your words.

    I followed your blog, and am thankful for your visit to mine so I could discover such beautiful, honest writing. Odd, I just wrote some poetry to get off the constant work on my Memoir.

    Today was pain when eyes open day--pain when standing up day--pain when bending, leaning, holding, washing, stepping, walking day. Slight pain relief from meds day. The kind of day I am so thankful I do not have to work. I can't imagine feeling safe in the shower. Spine is so unstable. And that;s been today. Not waaaa, just honesty--my middle name!! ;-D

    Gentle Hugs....<3

  2. Thank you Shauna, I really appreciate the feedback and am sorry to hear your day was such a bad one. I do hope tomorrow and the rest of the week are better for you!


Thank you for taking the time to read and/or comment on my blog. For people who are chronically ill and/or in constant pain, it can be difficult to socialize as frequently as we would like to do so. Talking with others online is a way for us to socialize, chat with others, make new friends, reach out to others in similar circumstances and many more positive effects.

Knowing that someone has read my posts and commented on it, helps in many ways. The biggest two being that it helps ease the feeling of being "alone" and that no one could possibly understand. Secondly, it reminds us that others truly do care and that just feels wonderful!!

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and/or comment on my blog, it really does mean a great deal to me and is helpful too!