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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Ashes ashes we all fall down!

I got to enjoy (add sarcasm to that "enjoy") a different pain for the next few days. Fun fun fun! not! LOL

Seriously, one of my toes got tangled in a power cord and I took a hard fall. This, of course, made my back and pelvis very unhappy but not as unhappy as they'd have been if I had landed on my hip or buttocks. Instead I landed real hard on my right knee. For some reason my hands did not get in front of me quick enough to break the fall. The pain was so bad that it actually made me light-headed and nauseous. I didn't break anything because I can bend it and I can walk on it, but it is going to have a spectacular bruise and it has swollen up a little. It is not extremely bad or anything and since I already take pain medication I was able to treat the pain simply by taking my bedtime dose.

Prior to the fall my back had been feeling much better since the rain cleared out. So Friday I was able to move around more. I paid bills, did some laundry, finished the taxes, did some general picking up and folded laundry. I also cooked half of dinner. In between all that there was playing with Bridgette. She has started to enjoy drawing pictures (well she scribbles lol). She likes it when we draw something for her so I was drawing shapes (hearts, squares, circles etc) and letters for her and she was naming them. She will tell you what to draw on the paper and get real happy when you do it.

I didn't sleep very well Friday night so Saturday was a real quiet day. I kept trying to get more than 20-30 minutes of sleep. I finally got a few hours and called it good. Then I did my computer stuff: blogs, email, and facebook. I watched some TV and went to bed to read. In between I played with Bridgette as usual. She is so cute! I took the fall when I headed to the kitchen for more ice water. So I ended up sitting in bed, knee raised and sat an ice pack on it while I read my book. When it calmed down I pulled out my stitching and stitched for a while. I've been up all night due to pain and after laying down for over an hour and staying awake I gave up and came out to the living room and downloaded my email.

See? my life is boring boring boring. Same stuff different day. LOL

I had a wonderful talk with my daughter via yahoo IM Saturday afternoon. Her boyfriend has officially asked her to move in and she said yes! She is a lot like me though and tends to over-think things and when something emotional arises she can do a very good job of winding herself up with "what ifs", "maybes" and "buts". This is a big deal for her as it will be her first time living this far away from me by choice. So there is some homesickness going on. As well there are all the normal fears that arise when one leaves home for the first time. She was very worried that her thoughts and emotions were somehow abnormal or wrong. So we talked about her thoughts and feelings for a while and they were all perfectly normal for the situation. I told her to trust her instinct as they are usually correct and to try not to drive herself crazy by focusing so much on the very normal fears that come with moving out of your parents' house.

So far she has nothing negative to say about where she is living. In fact she says that her back actually feels better up there (Wisconsin) than it usually does here in Florida. I think the humidity has something to do with that, as well as the fact that we get alot of air pressure changes due to storms coming in off the Gulf. Wisconsin doesn't get those pressure changes so frequently as she is not living on the shore of an ocean. She says she loves the restaurants, museums, etc around their apartment and so far the people she has run into have all seemed very nice. She has also met his parents and really likes them as well.

I am so proud of her and so happy for her. Her relationship with T makes her very happy and he treats her very well. He sees her for the wonderful person she is, not just her back and pain. I wish them both all the happiness they deserve!

I am missing Sam though. She is not just my daughter, she is also my best friend. We have been through a lot together and as a result we have a very close and very strong emotional bond with one another. When she was younger I would worry about how I would handle her teen years, expecting there to be friction as she pulled away and rebelled. But due to the many issues she struggled with she did her rebelling early so when she hit her teen years we grew closer together rather than further apart. She talks to me about anything and everything she wants to and I treasure that relationship. I treasure the fact that she trusts me, is open with me, and is honest with me. I feel very blessed to know that she wants to talk with me so much and share her life with me instead of feeling like she has to keep everything to herself in order to appear independent.

I do not see us drifting away from each other just because she now lives in another state. We can still talk with each other as much as we want via telephone, email, IM programs, and blogs. I will miss her coming into my room to talk to me just as I am getting ready to try to sleep (she has perfect timing as she always seems to want to talk late at night LOL). She knows I will always be there for her and I am just a phone call away and she can call at any time.

Sam, you have turned into a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful young woman. I am very proud of you and I love you very very much! No matter how far away you are I will always be with you and you will always be with me. We are in each other's hearts so no matter where we are physically, we carry a piece of each other with us wherever we go. You can do this sweetheart, I know you can! I love you!


  1. A lovely post! Such great support toward your daughter, that's the way it should be. I hope your knee is feeling better, gah that would have hurt.....
    keep your chin up

  2. Thanks so much for all the support and help you've given me...not just the past few weeks, but the past 21 years! *hugs* I love you so much, Mom. Thank you for being there and loving me :D

  3. Thanks Kirst. :)

    You're welcome Sweetie. It was my job yanno. Now that you are moving out, does that mean I can stop?? (Its a joke bratchild *wink*) Love you!

    Yes my knee finally feels better :)


Thank you for taking the time to read and/or comment on my blog. For people who are chronically ill and/or in constant pain, it can be difficult to socialize as frequently as we would like to do so. Talking with others online is a way for us to socialize, chat with others, make new friends, reach out to others in similar circumstances and many more positive effects.

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