I wrote a couple of poems back in 1997 about what it felt like then to be living with constant chronic pain. I thought back then they were a bit over the top, but after 10 more years of living like this, they aren't. They are very honest and very real and very accurate.
These two poems have not been edited. They are exactly they way they came out of my mind when I felt this overwhelming need to write them. Maybe someday I will edit them, though I do not want to as their errors show the confusion and difficulty with mental tasks that are also inherent with living in pain all the time. Anyway, here they are:
Aug 13, 1997
by Missy H. ©
Every day is the same
each day filled with pain
can't do what I want to
can't do what I need to
I am forced to sit
sit and watch
my life fade away
my children grow apart
it tears at my heart
I wonder why
why does it have to be this way
I try to stay upbeat
to smile through the tears
inside I am dying
my heart cries for release
my mind aches to live again
to be able to walk, to run
everything on hold
as I watch my life go by
sitting, stranded
wrapped within this cloud of pain..
LIVING WITH PAIN I
May 1997
by: Missy H. ©
People say God never gives you more than you can bear
I have to wonder, as I sit here
wrapped in pain, my body throbbing
all day and all night
no end in sight
My mind struggles to ignore
Fighting constantly
My body wracked with agony
My heart cries for release
Cursing my weakness, the tears hot on my cheeks
How much more must I take?
What sin have I comitted, to earn such a fate?
The pain never ending
The fear having to yield to my body's shortcomings
The guilt of not meeting my role
I have to wonder, is this too much for one soul?
Love Green!
7 years ago
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Thank you for taking the time to read and/or comment on my blog. For people who are chronically ill and/or in constant pain, it can be difficult to socialize as frequently as we would like to do so. Talking with others online is a way for us to socialize, chat with others, make new friends, reach out to others in similar circumstances and many more positive effects.
Knowing that someone has read my posts and commented on it, helps in many ways. The biggest two being that it helps ease the feeling of being "alone" and that no one could possibly understand. Secondly, it reminds us that others truly do care and that just feels wonderful!!
Thank you very much for taking the time to read and/or comment on my blog, it really does mean a great deal to me and is helpful too!