I did one the other day about safety with medications. I also did a written post on this blog for the same topic, so I don't think I need to link that video. However, today I started a series of videos on judgements. Since people with chronic illness and / or chronic pain are judged in many different areas, I have chosen to do this topic as a series of videos. For the first one I chose the topic of how chronically ill people and people who suffer from chronic pain are judged for their diagnoses such as being told that illness doesn't exist, it's all in your head, you don't look sick and more. I hope the video is educational and of value to people who watch it.
I also made a request of viewers and I wish to make the same request of my blog readers also. So here is the video explaining my request.
Thank you everyone!
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Hi Missy -
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing these 2 videos for your readers & audience. You ask for different ways that people deal with other people's judgment. For me, going to therapy was the most helpful. I cannot change other people's perceptions of me. In the beginning, I tried by explaining to them what was going on with my trigeminal neuralgia (severe, facial, nerve pain) & with my multiple sclerosis). Because I was in a lot of pain, I was emotionally sensitive. By going to a therapist (who didn't just give me exercises to do, but actually listened to me), I could discuss & cry about my frustrations & learn who was worth my energy by discussing w/them what was going on with me, & others who sucked my physical & emotional energy. In this sense, I changed my behavior about other people's reactions rather than trying to change their behavior.
If one of the people who was judgmental towards me was a family member, such as a spouse or a caregiver, then I would ask them if they wanted to go to therapy with me because our interactions were preventing us from having a loving relationship. In some cases, they did come to the appts, (like Mom), in other situations they didn't - like my Dad (& he was most judgmental). These sessions w/partners & caregivers often were helpful, & so were the sessions about my father. I learned skills to protect myself when he would begin saying judgmental things - such as asking him to leave.
I also joined a group for people w/chronic pain who had an authorized leader, such as an R.N. or a therapist. I did not join groups with a lay person leader because often those groups ended up being bitch sessions about who was wronging them & what was hurting. To help combat other people's judgment, the key is to build up my sense of selfworth to the point in which it doesn't matter what other people think/say about me. Rather, what I think about myself is what's most important, & surrounding myself with positive people who think well of me & love me for who I am.
That's enough for now. These comment boxes are so small on the phones that it's hard to see the what I wrote! :-)
Monique