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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Letters to Back and Pelvis & A Social Life?!?! Me?!?! WOW

On Tuesday I put a letter written to my back and pelvis on my Facebook status. My daughter, smart alec that she is, responded and we went back and forth. She had me laughing for over 20 minutes with her posts. I thought I would share it here so others could laugh also.

I astericked the names for privacy reasons but Mi*** is me and S*** C**** is my daughter. I still have no idea what "I have a boat" has to do with anything *shrug*

Anyway, enjoy the laughs!



Mi****** H******
Dear Back and Pelvis,
I realize that it is raining and neither of you like the rain much, but please (pretty please with sugar on top) don't let the pain go higher than a 5 so I can DM tonight. Thank you!

Love,
Missy
Tuesday at 11:19am · Privacy: · 


    • S****** C**** 
      Dear Mi****** H****l,


      I am sorry you are in a lot of pain and but I'm afraid I cannot just "stop" raining when any one mortal feels like. If you have a complaint, please feel free to take it up with the complaint department at 867-5309.


      Thank you for contacting us on this matter and we hope to hear from you with any other concerns!

      Yours truly,
      Back and Pelvis

      Tuesday at 11:23am · 
    • Mi****** H******

      Dear Back and Pelvis,


      Yes I realize you can not make it stop raining and that is not what I was requesting. However, it is well within your abilities to stop hurting and that is what I was requesting.
      Thank you for taking the time to respond to my request and I would greatly appreciate it if you would seriously consider this new (clarified) request.

      Love
      Missy
      PS: I have the exercise CD and I'm not afraid to use it! Just saying!

      Tuesday at 11:26am · 


    • S****** C**** 
      Dear Mi****** H****l,



      I understand your dilemma and I apologize for the inconvenience the pain has caused but please find the reasons below as to why your request has been denied:


      1) NYEAH NYEAH!!
      2) Life sucks, get over it
      3) I'm on a boat!
      4) Your luck has run out, sunny jim!

      Thank you again for contacting the department and we hope you will continue to be a beloved customer.

      Yours truly,
      Back and Pelvis
      P.S. Any more threats will be directed to the nearest mental health facility as what you are implying is a type of self-mutilation.

      Tuesday at 11:30am · 
    • Mi****** H******

      Dear Back and Pelvis,


      I do not understand why you are full of such vitriol towards me as I have never done anything to you. Now here are some reasons why you should do as I request:


      1: I am in charge
      2: Calcium and Protein come from what I eat
      3: I have extra luck (luck +inifinty gem)
      4: I put a hole in your boat last month
      5: See #1

      Missy

      PS: The local mental health facilities will laugh in your face as exercise is considered healthy, not self abusive.

      Tuesday at 11:37am · 


    • S****** C**** 
      Dear Mi****** H****l,



      I'll sick Matthew on you.


      Sincerely,
      Back and Pelvis

      Tuesday at 11:41am · 
    • Mi****** H******

      Dear Back and Pelvis,


      And then he will find out what it is like to pick on someone who is meaner and nastier than he can dream of being. I am Sam's mother afterall.


      sincerely,
      missy

      Tuesday at 11:43am · 

    • S****** C**** 
      Dear Mi****** H****l,


      Touche, miseur pussycat! (And I'm not French, kiss my ass, LITERALLY! MWuahahahahaha)

      Back and Pelvis

      Tuesday at 11:44am · 
    • Mi****** H******
       Dear Back and Pelvis,

      If I start getting that particular area of anatomy kissed you both complain loudly, so don't ask for what you can't handle!

      Missy

      Tuesday at 11:47am · 
    • S****** C**** 
      Dear Mi****** H****l,


      ,


      Oh yeah? Well...well...um...


      ...

      Yeah I got nothin

      Back and Pelvis

      Tuesday at 11:49am · 
    • Mi****** H******

      Dear Back and Pelvis,


      I win. Now LOWER THE DANG PAIN already!!


      Missy
      PS: Thank you for the lively reparte, I enjoyed it!

      Tuesday at 11:50am · 
    • S****** C**** 
      Dear Mi****** H****l,






      Yessah massah! :mumble grumble:


      Back and Pelvis
      P.S.: Glad my department could make you happy for once!

      Tuesday at 11:51am · 
    • Mi****** H******

      Dear Back and Pelvis,


      Thank you! I am sure the players will appreciate your cooperation in this matter as much as I do!


      Sincerely,
      Missy

      Tuesday at 12:01pm · 


The game went well Tuesday night until the broken joint decided to snap real strongly which hurt like hell. So, in the hopes of similar laughter, I wrote a follow up message to "Back and Pelvis", this time my friend B chose to respond. His replies also made me laugh so that was good.



M***** H******
Dear Back and Pelvis,

Thank you very much for controlling the pain enough for me to DM last night. I do appreciate it a great deal. However, I would have appreciated it more if Pelvis had not decided to snap the bones of my sacroiliac joint together very sharply. Could you please not do that in the future?

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Missy
Wednesday at 10:18am · Privacy: · 

    • B***** C*****

      Dear M***** H******,


      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no. Pelvis was actually late snapping the bones at the joint, count your blessings.


      Don't cross us.

      Sincerely,
      Back and Pelvis

      Wednesday at 10:28am · 
    • M***** H******

      Dear Back and Pelvis,


      So this was timed and deliberate sabotage of my social life? I see. Well then I think it is time to go see the orthopedic surgeon again to get that second plate and another 6 inch screw to stabilize Pelvis so he can't do that anymore.

      Sincerely,
      Missy


      Wednesday at 10:33am · 

    • B***** C****

      Dear M***** H******,


      No, this was what you get for crossing us yesterday. As to the plate, no, you wouldn't... You're bluffing, right? You can hardly stand the quarterly procedure to make us shut up for months at a time, and is an injustice that you shouldn't be able to stand for, let alone after. Please stop bluffing, we *know* you wouldn't really do that... right?

      So yeah, blow it out your ass. (We'll happily bitch about that too.)

      Sincerely,
      Back and Pelvis

      Wednesday at 10:42am · 
    • M***** H******


      Dear Punch and Judy (AKA Back and Pelvis)


      So this was payback for the exercise threat? I understand. No problem.
      ...
      ...
      ...

      No I am not kidding. I will more than happily see the surgeon and request the second plate and screw. I am calling the office for an appointment right after I post this letter.



      Missy



      Wednesday at 10:50am ·


Since I started playing D&D again I have rediscovered something I haven't really had in many years, a social life. It feels odd since I am used to not having much of a social life that requires me to go places or chat with people in real life.

Due to my disability I have a difficult time going places and being able to say for certain that I will be able to do something on a future date, so making friends hasn't exactly been easy for the past 10 years. Hence most of my social interaction has been through the computer. I have made many good friends through message boards, web sites, and blogs. I treasure those friendships a great deal.

Suddenly I have people texting me on my cell phone, which I only got in case my kids' needed to reach me while I was out running errands (this was before I further injured my back and lost the ability to walk long enough for grocery shopping or long errands), or if the schools needed to reach me. I don't usually carry my phone with me when I am at home, but I have been missing these messages when they come in and a couple were important at the time they were sent (but I didn't get them until the next day), so now I carry it with me around the house just in case.

I remember going out with friends to the movies or out to dinner. I remember hanging out at a friend's house or talking on the phone. I remember getting together with my friends either at my house or one of theirs to play D&D and have fun. But I had long ago adjusted to not having those things in my life anymore because I had moved to a different state and my back got much worse, severely curtailing my mobility. I am thoroughly enjoying playing D&D again, but even more, I am loving having a group of people to hang out with, laugh with, and just be friends with in real life.

So now I have a social life. I still find myself wondering "How did this happen?!?" and thinking "WOW I like this!" and hoping and praying that I get to keep it because I also remember how much it hurt to lose it the last time.

A social life..WOW

Please Goddess, let me keep it this time. Please?